Think back to a moment from childhood.
You’re happily playing with your favorite toy when — suddenly — another kid grabs it from your hands.
What did you do?
1. You acted.
You pulled, kicked or slapped, not out of malice, but to restore order and reclaim what was yours.
2. You froze and thought.
You didn’t like the situation, but you started calculating:
Should we share? Trade? Wait? What’s the smartest move here?
3. You brought in help.
You looked for an adult, an older sibling, anyone who could mediate and fix the situation without damaging the relationship.
Whichever response came naturally then… likely still shapes how you respond to tension now.
We imagine we outgrow these instincts, but in reality, they evolve into our professional problem-solving styles:
If you were a “kick/slap” kid…
Today you speak up quickly, clearly, sometimes bluntly.
You protect boundaries and act fast when something feels off.
If you were a thinker…
You weigh perspectives, anticipate ripple effects and craft careful solutions.
You want the outcome to be fair — and thought through.
If you sought help…
You now involve HR, leadership or trusted colleagues to navigate difficult situations.
You aim to resolve things without unnecessary friction.
Same instinct.
Different context.
And in all three cases, the result can accidentally create distance — from a colleague, a client, a friend.
Distance that isn’t always necessary.
To approach things differently takes honesty, courage and intention, especially when the relationship is worth preserving.
When I was five, I had one of these moments.
Except this time, the other kid walked up to me, held out his hand and simply said:
“Friends?”
And we kept playing.
That’s the point.
Sometimes reclaiming your space doesn’t require conflict, withdrawal or escalation.
Sometimes all it takes is clarity and a bit of humanity.
So…